Why God allows times of little

Do not struggle in the lands parched of human acknowledgment your roots are forced to dig deep for the source of significance in Him. When many despise you and do not love you, or when you feel overwhelmed by the snarl that you are disliked by many, say to yourself, "This is good. A blessing in disguise. This is the time when I dig deeper. He is my confidence. This lack has happened so that I will not depend on the abundance of man, but in the abundance of the Son of God. He loves, even unto death." God allows times of little as defined by man, so we may have times of largeness as defined by the Eternal.

Spurgeon's Devotional
November 10 PM
"It is enough for the disciple that he be as His Master."Matthew 10:25
No one will dispute this statement, for it would be unseemly for the servant to be exalted above his Master. When our Lord was on earth, what was the treatment He received? Were His claims acknowledged, His instructions followed, His perfections worshipped, by those whom He came to bless? No; "He was despised and rejected of men." Outside the camp was His place: cross-bearing was His occupation. Did the world yield Him solace and rest? "Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay His head." This inhospitable country afforded Him no shelter: it cast Him out and crucified Him. Such--if you are a follower of Jesus, and maintain a consistent, Christ-like walk and conversation--you must expect to be the lot of that part of your spiritual life which, in its outward development, comes under the observation of men. They will treat it as they treated the Saviour--they will despise it. Dream not that worldlings will admire you, or that the more holy and the more Christ-like you are, the more peaceably people will act towards you. They prized not the polished gem, how should they value the jewel in the rough? "If they have called the Master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of His household?" If we were more like Christ, we should be more hated by His enemies. It were a sad dishonour to a child of God to be the world's favourite. It is a very ill omen to hear a wicked world clap its hands and shout "Well done" to the Christian man. He may begin to look to his character, and wonder whether he has not been doing wrong, when the unrighteous give him their approbation. Let us be true to our Master, and have no friendship with a blind and base world which scorns and rejects Him. Far be it from us to seek a crown of honour where our Lord found a coronet of thorn.
November 11 PM
"He shall choose our inheritance for us."Psalm 47:4
Believer, if your inheritance be a lowly one you should be satisfied with your earthly portion; for you may rest assured that it is the fittest for you. Unerring wisdom ordained your lot, and selected for you the safest and best condition. A ship of large tonnage is to be brought up the river; now, in one part of the stream there is a sandbank; should some one ask, "Why does the captain steer through the deep part of the channel and deviate so much from a straight line?" His answer would be, "Because I should not get my vessel into harbour at all if I did not keep to the deep channel." So, it may be, you would run aground and suffer shipwreck, if your divine Captain did not steer you into the depths of affliction where waves of trouble follow each other in quick succession. Some plants die if they have too much sunshine. It may be that you are planted where you get but little, you are put there by the loving Husbandman, because only in that situation will you bring forth fruit unto perfection. Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there. You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances, and if you had the choosing of your lot, you would soon cry, "Lord, choose my inheritance for me, for by my self-will I am pierced through with many sorrows." Be content with such things as you have, since the Lord has ordered all things for your good. Take up your own daily cross; it is the burden best suited for your shoulder, and will prove most effective to make you perfect in every good word and work to the glory of God. Down busy self, and proud impatience, it is not for you to choose, but for the Lord of Love!
"Trials must and will befall-
But with humble faith to see
Love inscribed upon them all;
This is happiness to me."

A Dream Birthed

I wanted to put my feet up and was about to watch an epic movie when Kristen, a photographer dormmate in PBC, suggested we watched a multi-award winning documentary movie entitled, "Born into Brothels." It was an amazing story, an antidote for griping spirits and ungrateful poor-me's. The protagonist of this inspiring real-life story, Zana, visited India in 1998 hoping to shoot photos on women's issues for a book compilation. She begun her journey by visiting the brothels in Calcutta's Red Light District to get a deeper understanding of the lives of the prostitutes there but found herself drawn into the lives of the children there. Upon their innocent, inquisitive requests to let them take pictures of her, Zana began to teach them the basics of photography. She bought them each a cheap camera and encouraged them to explore capturing life on films. Their pictures revealed the painful life in the brothels through the eyes of these 9 children, their untapped genius and their persistent cry to be let out of the cage of their present fate. The story goes on to tell of Zana's tenacious effort to put the children into school and advertise the children's photographs in as many galeries as possible. Their stunning, excellent photographs became world famous and was even made into Amnesty International calendar for the year 2005. What is most touching is witnessing the obvious positive change in the children's lives and character, where they could not see hope in their future but now have escaped the agony of living in such destitution.

My heart was moved in a deep way I hope will be life changing. I want to live in such a way that lives will be impacted. If possible I want to be the rope God uses to draw children out of their misery and impact their lives so that they are not trapped in their present confusion. I want to see lives changed. An idea that's been stewing for some time now suddenly makes sense again. I could by God's grace and help, teach a group of needy children music - the basics of piano, guitar, bass, drums (somewhat similar to Rhythm Techniques). Then I want to encourage them to write songs. Hopefully we get to present them in places around the world and even teach them dance. Lord, help me, guide me and help me not to be a coward. But to reach out and keep trying. Give me a strong passion that does not come from a brilliant idea. But one that comes when I meet these children you have prepared and convict me with the love You have for them. I want to bless them Lord. NOt just do some good in this world, but to make use of my talents, mediocre or average, who cares!? If I don't know enough, I can always ask someone else for help to teach the kids. I need You to build my character Lord. Make me secure in myself and help me understand the workings of the real world. Completely drench me with a huge whollop of common sense and an understanding of respecting every living thing. Make me like you Lord. The sinners were comfortable with you and went away, their lives changed. Duplicate that in me Lord, please.

Thank you for helping me see the pain and the trap prostitutes are in as shown in the movie. I have always resented the fact that you showed so much favour to the prostitutes, Rahab and Mary Magdelene. But You love them and they loved you so completely. A self-righteous prude is like garbage stench to Your nostrils. Burn this in me Lord, Burn a love for the people and for You in me Lord. Help me HOly Spirit, so that my life will not go to waste. I love you Lord. Help me in my weaknesses and strengths. Thank You for Your grace and mercy. Without You I am nothing. Lord, may it be that YOu increase and I decrease as the friend of the Bridegroom.

My kin-friend old

For none have I as yet
But I've the pleasure of rejoicing
In a newborn joy
Of my kin-friend old.

A tale of one life
A life of one Love
A Love who held her
A hold, just now, let go
Of my kin-friend old.

Straight into the arms
Of the beloved, of kingly descent
Only to find a waiting chair
Treasured for a day God-sent
For my young kin-friend.

A tale of two lives
Th' joining of two hearts
A walk of two endings
Stumbling into two beginnings
Now held together
In cords of Love
Love Divine, all loves excelling
The Beloved and
My kin-friend old.

Conceit

The flicker in their eyes,
The linger in their steps,
She turns and feel their presence
She's caught between trap,
And freedom.

The flirt in her hair,
The fullness in her lips,
She holds back and gives calculated-
Restrained by conscience
But in loneliness forward.

How is it that one could be
Self-concious; yet desiring the blood
To heat.
This, The pull of conceit
Against the tug of conscience
Beauty prioritised,
Selfless depth denied.

Pride

Do not like David count his strength
Do not like Zedekiah flaunt the gifts
Count instead,
God's craft, not his men.
God's brand, not kings.

Repentance

Restrain the tug, hold back the pull
You need not go that way.
The dashing wind blows hot and cool,
Let down your sail.

When lonesome grey waves beat your stern
Calling you, "Respond, and turn!"
Your heart may long to care, kiss
And hold - Resist this dare!

The sun ahead beckons you steer
And sail away from rainy seas,
Close your eyes, drop your anchor,
Kneel in the wash of repentance.

First Kiss

Irrevokable sweetness
Once given, naught to return
The cup of love's first surrender
Pouring out innocent fires
Hidden behind dignity's gold'n chambers.

The slender pitcher filled
With girlish dreams, held in
Within the iron will, the gleaming gild
Never to fling what's precious -
Only to Precious, surrender.

Wanton in passion,
Pure in beauty, the ache
Released. Exchanged to earn
Another pain vulnerable.

Orphaned

Burning tears, please don't flood my heart.

Wincing, away from watching eyes,
She clutched her knees to stop
Burning tears from scorching,
Evidence of the depth, summised
Into the chain of feelings, thoughts
Hidden in every beat of heart's ache.

Fading, she feels herself falling
Falling like ashes of non-existence,
Burning tears raged inside her
The whirpool of fire trailing
To the throat. The shaking churns,
Her blood thins, so everything blurs.

Age

The sun is young, the sea
Younger still, the trees
Are but a bud in time
And man, not even old as thyme!

Yet mine eye seeks the Age
Whose strength like a youth
Of seventeen, against the sun
Unrivalled be, The sea He took
As a student in the pool of time.

Doubt

The gnawing worm found my heart
Sweet and juicy faith - rotting

Leaving The Past

Awoken, her eyes turned up into his,
Flames dancing but of a different sort,
Burning liquid surging from her feet,
The strength of a woman, not in the least
like Catherine's sister, accepting her lot,
No - dignity that raises heads, eyes alit.

Smiling, she spoke of confidence
Of faith in Creator and Friend,
Father who provides, who loves and protects,
His eyes piqued, not expecting a distance,
More of a plea for his return, then,
Her burning tears, now joyous, no lack
Flow with praises, free with godly defiance.

Burning tears please don't flood my heart,
Let me stay hopeful, and not in bitterness live,
Flow out instead a river of joy
Faith proclaiming, love still giving.

Finding Treasures

I took a walk up to Rocky Butte. The sun in my eye, peeking through the leaves, evidence of another day of miracles. It wasn't one of those intentional health walks. Just a dilly-dally kind of walk where I poke my nose into the bushes and stare the flowers shy. I wasn't alone. God decided to come along too. We haven't had one of those for a long time. Our private nature walks - where my eyes drink in the beauty around and I ooh-ahh appropriately to my walking Partner. I make silly comments about the crooked tree and the obstinate clump of ferns that decided to grow on a dying branch. He grunts. Sometimes, He laughs. Most times, He just nods knowingly of secrets I dare not ask about. We walked up to the peak of Rocky Butte and I sat down on the stony wall, grabbing the sides, not wanting to share Humpty-Dumpty's fate of falling over. My walking Partner pointed to the two grand mountains, the rocks beginning to show through the melting white. I complimented Him on His creativity and power. We looked at the trees of different shapes and sizes, some graceful in the wind, others majestic and tall. Then He leaned over and told me a secret. An open secret really. "Ching, I know every detail of what happens in and around that tree over there. I am there watching every time each new needley leaf pokes through the base of the bud. I know the name of the same little brown bird that sits contently on his branch, each time the sun bursts orange in the sky. Look at the Willamette River. I know every detail of each living creature swimming in her. How much more do I know about the details of your heart's dream, your life's disappointments, hopes and strivings? More than that Ching... I care enough to do something about it. I care enough to make My every eternal plan to bless you - a reality."

Lord, I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

like a knife to the slaughter

Vino... I now thoroughly know what it feels like to be a knife to the slaughter - I had to slay the lamb! I had to do what is right even though I am guilt-ridden, utterly so. However, I feel that if I had not been honest with my dear friend, he might mistake my friendliness for something more and in the event, cause more pain than necessary. But I think God has someone else for him anyway. And considering my records, every guy I have been honest about how I just consider them a treasured friend and no more; have gotten married in a year. So, he'll be fine, I'm sure. I am now just recovering from the evening. Feels like every time I do this, my heart dies a little. I lose could-be-good friends, and a bit of my hope for the future. I am tired of doing this Vino.. But until the Lord allows me to go on with a relationship I can't go forward. How do you explain to them that you are only following the Lover of your soul as best as you can and that it has nothing to do with them? Lordie... the day you bring the one You have chosen, please help him hear from you clearly. I probably don't ever have the strength or the courage to open my heart, Lordie... Vino, the guy would have to have persistence and patience like Hosea, I tell you!!! Vino, God bless you dearie... Miss you so much. Wish you were here. But you're on your way to Malaysia by now. Love you lots..

Are you google-ble?

I've just realised that I am not googlebled, Vino! But my sister is though. She is part of the Malaysian Association of Speech Therapists. Isn't that incredible! Ok, I am going to write my name and details in this blog just to see if I can google myself out. Weellll, you never know. Someone out there might just be mezmerized enough after meeting on a bus or a train or a plane and the only clue he has of me is my name and city! So here goes:

Name : Ching Ying Chiang as the Americans or westerners call me. I prefer being called Chiang Ching Ying.. The first sounds like pots and pans falling down the stairs! Yikes!
Meaning: 'Ching' means "shine of the stars"; 'Ying' means "luminicence of a gem, probably a
jade"
Malaysia's my country but I must admit that my loyalty to the King and Queen of England (when the man steps up to the job!) is still deep and strong. I am what you call 'a typical result of colonization'. I wonder if Portland Bible College might sway my loyalties to embrace the American sentiments or be swept into the phonological currents of the American retroflect-drawl. God forrrrrrrrbid!!!!
ok.. that's enough about me. What a silly post this is!!! So much for my silly attempt to be google-bled! Gosh!!(In John Adams' style - you gotta see him before you can imagine this Napoleon Dynamite expression.. hehe)

Pain Sublime

Surge and ebb, Surge and ebb
My heart is swelling
Hauling in the sweetness of the Divine
Too much to grasp
Too precious to lose
His divineness
like fine sand

In the quietness of silence

In the quietness of silence,
In the leaning of one's head,
Upon the bosom of safety's love,
I hear Beauty's melody.

In the quietness of silence's song,
In the leaning down of one's soul,
Upon the bosom of beauty's melody,
I hear the Whisper of Ages.

In the quietness of words,
Whispered onto white paper,
In the spin of an overwhelming calm,
I hear the dizzying currents of the Musician.

Oh Lord, such beauty silence holds,
Beauty found in the song of haunting flutes,
Luring, the strings reply. Soaring, crescendo!
I remember Eden's song of lost beauty.

The Hallowed and majestic flesh - dancing,
The Stronger grasping the hands of clay,
The Dawn of Love laughing - twirling
His beloveds, cleaving to their Breathgiver,
Such visions I dare not lose -
Should quietness shatter into noisy splinters.

Losing sight of Your face,
Going blind, going deaf to Your song,
Songmaker, Songmaker, sing me Your story -
Songmaker, Songmaker, imprison me, besiege,
With the passion of Your heart th' cry of Your spirit.

Reveal the essence of who You are,
Bury me in the refrain of an embracing knowing,
Earthly Bride, Immortal Groom,
Clutching the hem of Your skirt over me.

Crush the clutter inside, bright quiet Holiness,
Breathe and still the shame within,
Reveal instead the sleep of the quieted,
Like a child weaning, waiting at his mother's breast.

Miracles

My prayers have been answered Vino.. Today the people whom I am fond of all of a sudden came hugging, literally and figuratively. I woke up with a desire to stay away from everyone. But He links us with His other children with His love. The writer friend whom I had a hurricane outing with actually came to say hello while I was at the library today. Lacey, my dear friend came and kissed on my cheek. Jesse, a funny fellow with a humble heart, kissed my forehead in a jest. Do you wonder if God hears our puny cries for small heartaches? He does... Praise God, He does. He doesn't just send beams of light to His children who undergo torture. He also sends His assurances of love to silly daughters like me! He's so lovely, lah...

"March of Faith" by Lindley J. Baldwin

From the book, "The March of Faith"

"The greatest leadership is that which creates other leaders. Democracy depends for its preservation upon the capacity to pass on the torch of leadership from one generation to another, - The March of Faith through the ages."

The book tells the touching true story of a African prince who was tortured by his captors as a ransom for the defeat of his tribe. While he was hanging on a cross in Africa, a light from heaven shone down on him and he was led to safety. He later understood that this God is the same God who sent His own son to suffer in a manner similar to his experience. He escaped to Liberia where he was found by a missionary who told him the gospel story and the story of Paul. Immediately, he recognised that the Christian God is the same God who rescued him with a beam of light. He became her first convert and she christened him, Samuel Morris. He learnt all he could about Christ but his hunger and desire to know the Holy Spirit could not be met by the missionary. By faith, he trusted God to bring him to America where he was taken in to study in Taylor University Bible School. He unwittingly became an influence among the students in the university and was known for his direct, calm 'talks' with the Father. The Holy Spirit would powerfully convict everyone with whom he prayed for. He was not a charismatic leader, nor was he a great orator. But the Holy Spirit worked through an uneducated man in such a powerful way because he had a simple, childlike trust in his Father. Samuel died 5 years after he arrived in America at the age of 21. His influence however is still felt and seen in Taylor University. Many have left to Africa in his place to reach his people. Taylor University was also at the brink of closing just before Samuel's death but God inspired the trustees to have faith and miraculously brought ten thousand dollars and ten acres of land to rebuild the university. Just before his death, the students came to pay him their daily visit and Sammy told them with quiet joy that he now understood it all. He said "I am so happy. I have seen the angels. They are coming for me soon. The light my Father in heaven sent to save me when I was hanging helpless on that cross in Africa was for a purpose. I was saved for a purpose. Now, I have fulfilled that purpose. My work here on earth has been finished." Dr. Reade questioned him about the great work he had planned to do amongh his own people in Africa. Sammy answered, "It is not "my work". It is Christ's work. He must choose his own workers. Others can do it better."
A must-read book! God challenged me to realise it is not my ability to relate to people, nor my charismatic personality nor my talent that will bring people to God. It is His spirit alone, and He is with me. I only have to keep my ears open for His voice, trust and obey, and march the march of faith.

In the beginning

In the beginning, God created the earth. Not by waving a magic wand. Not by stirring the cauldron and spitting spells into the air. Not even by the act of molding nothingness with His bare hands and then carefully hanging our planet in space. Or flinging it into space with one hand, [if you prefer viewing Him as an 'artsy-fartsy' (ching-term) dramatic, melancholic Universal Rembrandt von Einstein kind-of-Creator]. Instead, He created by speaking the worlds into being. It was not a coincidence that words were involved in the original creation. It is in fact a concept that is ancient old, one which a modern man sitting at a desk starring into the screen would probably have a hard time conceiving. Evangelical seminaries term this as the covenantal act, much like the ones reproduced in many ancient civilizations when a king vows an oath to be the benevolent protector to his people. I will attempt to explain what I have learnt in my Covenant classes in the coming blogs. This concept have really gripped my heart this particular semester and I am truly awestruck by it all.

In sum, words have power, you see. And this power increases the greater and more important the speaker is. The reverse is also true. The greater the feat a speaker's words accomplish, the greater the speaker must be. And this is our God - He speaks and creation replies by spinning it into existence. But we must not forget that He, being God, could have chosen to write the world into being, or chisel out the planets and trees. He could have chosen trees to walk and talk in place of man. He could have done a million things other than the one He chose to do. He is after all, G-O-D! Instead, He chose to speak His heart to man and swear Himself to us, that He is now and forever, bound to us, and we, in return, are bound to Him.

And so it is fitting that my first post of my blog to myself and alter ego a.k.a. my closest friend, Ms. Vino (strange but true!) , is sung in honour of God's first creative act known to mankind. Spicy Chicken Strips should be just that, little strips of spicy meat crisps . Nothing profound. Only a collection of thoughts and letters to God and closest friend. Some thoughts are my amateurish attempts at writing. Some are just plain confusions of life and my hashing-outs. Bother! I simply just wanna map out what's in my head into tangible words so that they rearrange in an orderly fashion. Hopefully, they'll help me get on with life after that.

So I dedicate this blog first to You, Lordie, the One who invented The Word, the stream of consciousness and thoughts in words and mental images.. and then to my family, Ma or Mommey, Pei and Ming. Hopefully one day, Pa, you'll be reading this too.

Till then, a toast to Spicy Chicken Strips:- Long life to the man who eats us with a happy heart!